You're Outta Here

Goodbye 2010. You've been a thorn in my side, you've tested my patience, strength and faith. You've pushed me to the edge but you've also pulled me back. You've made me question myself as a person, a wife, a friend and a daughter. You've hurt the ones I care so deeply for and you've taken people from us. But at the end I'm still standing. You might have gotten the best of me at times, but you didn't get me. I'm here and bidding you farewell.

Now a time for reflection:

Friendships were lost but new ones were gained. In that I have realized more of who I am as a person and what friendship is really about.

My Pirates had a rough year but overall I think we were pretty successful.

My mother finally moved out :)

Marriages, births, pregnancies and adoptions for those who truly deserve it.

Long summer days on the lake with friends.

A marriage that I think can withstand through anything.

A stronger feeling of self worth.

New friends.


Here's what I look forward to in 2011:

GRADUATION

Tailgating in Pirate Nation

Another week at the lake

And most importantly time to work on me. I've been so focused on others (good & bad) that I've forgotten about myself.

Cheers to all of you having a fantastic New Years. I hope 2011 is kind and generous to all of you. May 2011 bring you everything you deserve.

Bahh Humbug

Why yes, it has been a while since we've "talked." My apologies. While most is telling how exciting and great Christmas was out there in bloggy land, mine wasn't at all that exciting. It was mostly filled with stress and frustration. I guess maybe I should start with some background info (insert "rewind" noise here).

In April my mother moved in with us. It was supposed to be temporary. We were gonna move her into my grandmother's house so we began to remodel. All of our extra money and time went into that house. We didn't care since we were inheriting the house anyway.

As I watched my mother's condition (she has Parkinson's) worsen I really began to question whether she could even be on her own. Mom didn't want to go to assisted living and I felt guilty even suggesting it. Of course this caused Dustin and I to argue (he's a much more hard ass than I am). Well anyway a month ago, fate stepped in and we are being forced to sell the property anyway because Medicaid is doing an estate recovery for the money that Grandma benefited from. So that's where all the stress started. After many tears and sleepless nights, I made peace with that and encouraged Mom to help me start looking for somewhere safe for her to live. Oh My, did that start World War III in Casa des Costello. I swear Mom's head completely turned a 360 and I covered my face expecting pea soup to projectile from her mouth.

At this point she was falling several times a week, each time leaving behind a path of destruction. Blood, cherry Dr. Pepper, down shower curtains...you get the picture. So I had conversation with her doctor and immediately there was a team of physical therapists, occupational therapists and even a social worker coming to help her.

The decision was made that she WOULD NOT be able to be alone and couldn't even live with me for she needed 24/7 help. Although that was a relief off of me, I still felt awful for Mom. She's only 56. I couldn't imagine giving up my independence at that age. After many arguments and threats that Adult Protective Services would get involved if she didn't go, Mom finally gave in.

We found a great place 5 minutes from the house who could take her December 30th. Prayers had been answered and smooth sailing from here on out right? Nope; not with my luck.

Mom had an exacerbation of her Parkinson's and ended up in the hospital. This was Tuesday. On Wednesday I was told that the hospital couldn't keep her because Medicare wouldn't pay because she didn't qualify for admission. So the battle with case management started. Mom couldn't even stand, much less walk and I was supposed to bring her home with me. NOT GONNA HAPPEN. I screamed, pleaded, made threats from Wednesday morning to 9:00 Wednesday night. I started back on the phone 7:00 Thursday morning and begged the long term care facility to take her early. After much pleading and reminding them she was "private pay" and I would take her somewhere else they finally caved. We got Mom moved in. But now I feel bad and guilty. She seems more depressed than usual. I was able to bring her home for Christmas for the day. But still we're trying to get her moved in. And I guess D has been so fed up so long he just needs a break which means trying to get him to help is like pulling teeth (sorry babe). I do understand though. He has been a huge help and advocate during the past month. We both need a break.

I guess its just a bad time of the year. Christmas doesn't feel as good since Dad passed 4 years ago and then losing Grandma this year certainly didn't help. Thank goodness for an awesome friend who included us with their family on Christmas Eve. It helped tremendously!

Sorry this is so long but this is the first time I've actually had to time to sit down and process it all. It has been a whirlwind.

But let's leave this on a good note in hopes of a great new year. We got snow and another day off of work. 8 inches we had. It is so beautiful and makes D happy; reminds him of home. Also we had wonderful news that one of my friends is pregnant and another just adopted a baby boy. This news defiantly made me warm and fuzzy which is a big difference from the scrooge I had been.

Next blog will be happier, I promise. Here's hoping 2011 will be much kinder.

Blog Day of Silence

Labor Day and Bleeding Purple

Hi kids; long time no see. There hasn't been much to report lately from the good ole JoCo.

If it wasn't for such an Ah-mazing Labor Day weekend

I'd probably not be blogging now.

I'm actually gonna sum up the weekend in reverse.

Monday sucked...it was D's birthday so he played golf while I stayed home and studied for a damn test.

Made an A so I guess it turned out okay. 'Nuff about Monday...on to Sunday

How 'bout those Pirates, eh?

I've never been so proud to be Pirate. That last minute catch to win the game was better than sex. Excited would be an understatement of the century.

Some of my fav college buddies





And the catch of all catches


Saturday:

Some of my ECU and AOPi peeps headed to the lake for a day of soaking
up some of the last rays of summer.
We took 3 trips just to get all our camping gear to the site,
which we declared as Dick Back Mountain much to the expense of Morgan.
Sorry, M; we just couldn't help it!

We drank and ate and drank...and drank.
Well you get the picture.

I don't have any pictures of Dick Back Mountain.

I blame it on the massive amount of beer we all consumed.

We had quite the set up.

2 huge tents, a campfire, a grill & coolers galore

The weather was perfect for sleeping outside; a cool 55

Even the critters were out and about; they kept me up all night.

I could have gone without the howling of the coyote

and the squaking of what sounded like a prehistoric creature

perhaps a Taradactale (how do you spell that anyway?)

I'm hoping to make this an annual event.

But for God's sake, next year don't forget the Crystal Light!

The Best Week Ever...

So let me begin by saying I had the best week ever. And it wouldn't have been the perfect week without my friends there with me. For those of you that couldn't make it, you were truly missed. But on the bright side, we plan to do this again next year.

I was so relaxed all week; not a care in the world. Most of the week was very laid back. Coffee in the morning, sitting on the porch, overlooking the lake, listening to the birds chirp and enjoying the perfect surroundings. Evenings were spent watching the sun go down, listening to music and chatting with friends about everything under the sun. Some serious converstations were had about love and loss but mainly just being silly and goofy. We also had the pleasure of viewing many YouTube videos that made me laugh so hard I thought I'd die. I found a new appreciation for Jimmy Kimmel and his Unnecessary Censorship segments, Sesame Street and also a new appreciation for Leigh as she put her game face on, swallowed her fear and attempted the murder of Asshole the Snake...

...I even found something inside myself that I had lost for a while. Determination! I've been wanting to try wakeboarding but after failing at skiing I just didn't think I could do it. I figured I'd try it and after a few attempts I'd give up like I always do when things are hard and I get fustrated. But Husband gave me a pep talk and before you know it, I was up and having the time of my life. Husband was so proud; and seeing that made me feel accomplished. I haven't felt that in such a long time. I hadn't felt self pride in such a long time.

The weather was beautiful. This is my heaven. If someone asked me what I thought heaven was like, I'd describe the week I just had... a boat, dear friends and cold beer...

...and although the week was filled with perfect, peaceful tranquility, it didn't lack in shennanigans. As promised, below are some of these said moments:

Beer Pong

After several rounds of Beer Pong



Spanky so relaxed she fell asleep. Ofcourse we teased she passed out so thats why its in this section of photos and because it was pretty darn funny.

Dancin'

And the King of Shannanigans

My Husband

Thank you Dustin, Leigh, Jeff, Linds, Tawni and Spanky for celebrating with me as I enter into this new decade of my life. It has started off fantastic and I hope to have many more celebrations with you all. And for those who couldn't be there, I promise there will be more memories to make.

xo,

M

Turning 30

I have to say so far 30 is awesome. I cannot tell you the last time I've been so relaxed. How couldn't you when you get to look at this all day?

Stay tuned...things are gonna get crazy. My peeps are coming...my peeps are coming! My "official" party is this upcoming weekend. I'm sure there will be great stories (and pictures) so check back soon.

Until then, just breathe!

You Might Be a Redneck (or married to one) If...

...you hang a motor from a tree.

I love my husband; he's awesome. He's just a good ole' country boy from Iowa. And if it wasn't for that midwest accent, you'd swear he was staright out the trailer park in Johnston County, (or JoCo as us locals like to call it) North Carolina.

Without a doubt, my country boy is a true redneck at heart. You know, I love you babe!

You may remember the blog I posted several months ago about our disabled boat. Husband, being the awesome man he is, saved us mega money by fixin' it himself. He loves this sort of thing. He loves tinkering and fixing things. But, I think, more than anything it gave him a reason to drink beer and "redneck it out."

I can't even describe the hot mess we had going on in our yard. I'm surprised our neighbors didn't pack up and leave. This is better explained by way of pictures. Enjoy!

But in the end, who gives a damn what our neighbors think. And baby, I love you just the way you are. Cheers to you!

My Stanley Hotel

The hospital can be a scary place for many. I'm there 5 days a week and yes, its still scary for me too. But probably not for the reasons you may think. I'm not scared of blood. I'm not scared of sick people. I'm not scared of machines. I'm not scared of needles (as long as I'm doing the sticking) I'm not scared of death. But I am scared of ghost children. I know...you're thinking WTF. Let me explain.

Every few weeks I have to drop off equipment to be picked up for off-site sterile processing. It is on my way to this drop zone I pass by the creepiest place I've ever seen. Its in the basement of the hospital which in itself is not scary like you may think (our dept is actually in the basement). This particular place is where old or extra beds are stored. Its a huge room thats always dark with this one light constantly flickering. Mostly there are baby beds in there. For those who don't know, in the hospital, baby beds have bars all the way around them. So the tots don't roll out of them. They just look creepy to me. There are also these gates that separate different parts of this storage room. I wish I had a picture because I know it doesn't sound scary but TRUST.

Every time I roll by there I'm scared to look in but I always do. I'm always expecting to see ghost children flying around, climbing the fences, shaking the bed/cribs. Or this:

These tiny bitches give me the heebie jeebies. Always have, always will. I'm terrified of ghost children. Give me adult ghosts, dismembered ghosts, demon ghosts any time. But ghost children, count me out.

So the moral of the story, kids...the hospital is a fascinating place. I love it there. But come the day I see a ghost child, I'm tucking my tail between my legs and I'm peacing out.

Sidebar: In my research of finding these scary tots, I found out they are "The Watson Twins," from Britian. And my maiden name is Watson. CREEPY!!!

You Had Me at Flip Cup

"The Bachelorette" has done it again. ABC has sucked me in and has me longing for Monday nights to see who Ali Fedotowsky makes out with, gives roses to, and who she gives the boot to. Of all the bachelorettes and even contestants, she has been my fav. And I have to admit that I may even have a tiny girl crush on her. I think she's just awesome!
Ali is one lucky lady. For the most part her suitors are pretty hunky, successful men. In my single days I would have loved to have 15 sex-ay men longing after me, fighting for me, all the while trying to impress me and win my heart. Not to mention, the fabulous dates they have, traveling the world. Le sigh...

From the get go I have liked Roberto. He's a hunk and speaks several different languages. He's cultured and charming. He also got the first impression rose. Atta girl, Ali!

Can you say yummy?

Okay so last night Ali had some alone time with Chris L. who I might add has this nice New England accent. Now he's no Roberto when it comes to looks but during his and Ali's convo before the rose ceremony he stated that Ali needs to come to the Cape and play some Flip Cup. Now this is a guy after my own heart. Her reply...I love Flip Cup!

I heart Chris L.

Ali keep handing out those roses to Chris L. Any man who plays Flip Cup is worth keepin' around. And oh yeah, Ali, you're invited to our next Flip Cup party.

~M

Baby, You Get My Motor Running

I have to admit that I've been a little depressed lately. Summer is here. Memorial Day Weekend, for me, is the best weekend ever. Its the beginning of summer which means weekends at the lake.

This year I haven't been looking forward to it at all. It was just a reminder of the deep, dark depression I've been it.

It all started on an unusually hot Friday afternoon. Good Friday to be exact. Dustin and I were out on the boat with some friends, Leigh and Jeff. It had been a wonderful day. I was about 6 beers deep and we were returning from the "Stansion," a campsite named after our dear friend Stan and his gang of misfits.

All of a sudden the motor turned off.

And it wouldn't start.

We had no oars to row.

The water was a cold 52 degrees.

I had to pee.

We sent out a SOS.

Nothing.

Jeff and Dustin, hero'd up, tied themselves to the boat and started swimming. Leigh and I waved and shouted. We showed boobies...not really but it would have been funny. Finally someone helped! We made it.

But then depression started. We needed a whole new motor. We have no money. No money equals no motor. No motor equals no boat. No boat equals no summer. How the hell am I going to make it?

After several long, dark weeks, the sky has parted. We got the money together and the motor arrived today. So in just a few weeks we'll be back. And I predict the summer will be the best ever. The Redneck Yacht Club is back in business. Stansion here we come! Below is my summer prediction in pictures:









Hope yaw'll can come hang with us this summer. I promise it will be an experience you'll never forget.

Comic Relief

Just when you think you can't take anymore, sometimes you're hit with some much needed comic relief.

This week has been intense. I've spent a total of 26 hours this week in lectures discussing modes of mechanical ventilation, weaning parameters as well as non conventional methods. Don't worry...I'm stopping here. Yes this can be quite boring. But anyway...I went to work this morning the first time since Monday due to these said lectures.

Now, most days at work my day is boring and dreadful. I'm an equipment tech for the Respiratory Dept. at a fairly large hospital. What this means is I clean and set up ventilators and put away materials when it comes in. This has been valuable and I'm very fortunate to have this job. But it is BORING most days.

Well now that I'm a little further in school and I've proven to not be a complete idiot, I'm now starting to help more in traumas, codes and other procedures. Which leads me to the purpose of this post today.

So we had an 18 year old male come into our ED today for a conscious sedation to reset a fractured leg. Basically the leg was set incorrectly yesterday and he isn't ready for surgery yet due to swelling. So it had to be redone today. Now its much safer to do a conscious sedation than to put someone completely under. Basically the patient is given Diprovan (yes that is what killed MJ) but in much smaller dosages. The patient is pretty much asleep but conscious. Get it?

Ok...so this particular lad required quite a lot and fought the drugs so he never feel asleep. We couldn't give him too much of the meds so unfortunately he did feel a little pain but not too much. So the orthopedic surgeon is there resetting his leg and all of a sudden he sits up, and shouts, " You mother f&*@ers are hurting me. Please, please stop...I'll give you all my weed. Just please stop."

Of course we all started laughing and feeling extremely glad that we had asked his parents to leave the room.

We do this job every day to make other people feel better. But every once in awhile, a patient makes you feel better...whether they remember it or not.

~M

Just a Shout Out

A shout out to all my lovely friends near and far. I love you all. Here's hoping today, tomorrow and always bring you nothing but the joy and happiness all of you deserve. Here's hoping all your dreams and wishes come true. I'm so lucky to have you in my life. And here's hoping I see all of you soon!


xoxo,
M

Two Down, Three To Go

Today starts a new semester. It is sure to be the most challenging semester yet. And from what I've been told, this is the make or break point. Many people will not make it through the summer; either for grades or just realizing they aren't meant to do this. This semester is dedicated to mechanical ventilation or as most of you know it as, life support.

For me, I can't be more excited. Up unitl now, we've been slinging nebs and working on our patient assessment skills. As beneficial as this was, quite frankly I was bored to tears. But from now on I will be in the critical care units, both in adults and pediatrics. As sick and unfortunate as these patients will be, I can't wait to glove up, gown up, poke, probe, stick, suction and pull tubes!

Many of you probably think I'm sick in the head. Perhaps you are right. But it takes all kinds to make this world go round. I've come to "appreciate" blood, guts, snot, and boogers. And it kinda makes me excited.

And you probably wonder why I didn't choose nursing; they make more money and get more recognition. One simple reason. I don't do poop!

Its so comforting to know that I've finally found my calling in life. A few years ago, I would have never thought I could do this but I was so bored doing office work, I needed a new challenge. And a challenge it has been. I defiantly stepped out of my comfort zone on this one!

Off to class I go. So until next time, just breathe! Because if you don't, I'll have to tube you!

~M

Taking Out the Trash

I must start with the disclaimer that in no way am I calling anyone "trash" in the blog you are about to read.



In recent months, I've been forced into decisions that I myself did not want to make. Well, actually these decisions were made for me. In my life I've been doing some spring cleaning, if you will, and getting rid of people in my life that are just not good for me anymore. Well, really they got rid of me because I chose not to choose. What I mean by this is that I have people in my life that necessarily do not like other people in my life. And that's okay; really it is. But some individuals could not get pass the fact I chose to live my life in a way that noone has problems with me and I do not have problems with anyone else. Now I haven't also agreed with everything between the two groups but nothing had ever been done personally to me. But anyway, I was told several months ago that the time had come that I had to choose. I chose not to and well the people who I thought were my friends got together and I guess collectively, as a group, decided that I was no longer someone they needed in their life and tossed me out of their lives like yesterday's trash.



So, starting today I'm cleaning house. So, if you are the following, be prepared to have yourself "deleted" from my life. I am too old and too good of a person to keep dealing with this nonsense. I have come to realize who my true friends are and although my list of friends is getting shorter and shorter I am thrilled to finally start weeding out the bad and toxic seeds in my life.



1. Friends are not hypocritical.

2. Friends do not kick you while you're down.

3. Friends do not talk behind your back; they go straight to the source.

4. Friends do not threaten you.

5. Friends do not keep score.

6. Friends do throw in your face every nice thing they've ever done for you.

7. Friends do not rejoice in your misfortunes.

8. Friends let other people make their own decisions.

9. Friends do not take advantage of you.



And finally..... FRIENDS DO NOT MAKE YOU CHOOSE!



I've never done any of the things that I've been blamed for and I know in my heart I'm better off. There comes a time in your life when you just have to throw things out. Even if at some point prior it was important and meant the world to you. Even if you once adored these certain items in your life. You grow up and realize certain things. So here's to taking out the trash!



***Once again, I'm not calling anyone trash. Because there has been a threat of freedom of speech vs. legality issues of blogging, I can't stress enough that I'm not calling anyone trash***

A Tribute on Mother's Day

A week ago today, you passed away. As much as I want to sit here and cry and mourn your passing, I'm not. You'd kick my ass if I did. So instead I'm gonna celebrate your life, and laugh. I'm gonna laugh today until my stomach hurts and I have tears rolling down my cheeks. Tears of inspiration and tears of gratefulness for the life I have. The life, you helped shape.

Remember when Dad and I put together your stationary bike and didn't tighten the seat on good enough? I do, you sat down on it and fell backwards, feet over head onto the floor. You just laughed and laughed.

Remember when you told me that you were a Mouseketeer on the Mickey Mouse Club? I told you to prove it and you made up some ridiculous tap dance and song and performed it. I went to school and told everyone you were a Mouseketeer. You just laughed and laughed.

Remember when you were in Atlantic City and hit it big on the slots and all the quarters came flying out? You were so excited that you fell off your stool and the security guard had to help you up. You just laughed and laughed.



Remember when Dustin and I took you to see Chicago and I asked you how you liked it? You said, "well he's no Richard Gere, but he'll do." You just laughed and laughed.

Grandma, you taught me to always see the humour in everything. So today I'm going to laugh and laugh.

Janie Watson

June 6, 1926 - May 2, 2010

Allow me to introduce myself

My name is Humpty...well it was for one night back in college but we'll address that in a future blog. I go by several different names. Melissa, Twat (don't judge-there's an explanation), Twitty, Mel. I'm in school for respiratory therapy, hence the title of my bog. And married to a wonderful man that must have the patience of God for putting up with me.

So why blog? Well it seems like the cool thing to do these days and I enjoy reading many of my friends' blogs. Now, I'm not as creative as the likes of K. Law, Spanky or Summer but I'll try not to bore you to tears.

As a little girl, I wrote in a diary/journal often and wrote poetry to deal with my feelings, insecurities, etc...So why not as an adult I ask myself. So, in this here blog you'll get a little bit of everything, my friends. My obsession with "little people," the good, the bad, the ugly, and a little bit of my hospital encounters. Now there's some doozies.

I stay pretty busy, so I'll try to update as often as I can. So let's get started...how about you asking me questions to get my creative juices flowing. I answer truthfully and honestly.

Until next time, just breathe!

Melissa